Creating Nothing From Something; Chicago Pokes Holes, Plugs Sox 5-3

Holes don't really exist; they're a privation, a lack, an absence, a nothing. Yet holes can be created- thereby bringing nonexistence into existence. How fun.

Orlando Cabrera pulled this metaphysical trick on Nonbeing twice in Chicago's 5-3 victory over the Sox on Friday night.

With a runner on first in the 3rd inning, Ozzie Guillen had the hit and run on on the first pitch Cabrera saw from Lester, a cutter in, and Cabrera encouraged a 6 hopper through the newly created bit of nothingness on the right side of the infield, sending the runner to third, and resulting in a sac fly to put the ChiSox up 1-0.

In the 5th, with runners on second and third and one out, Cabrera again swung at the first pitch, a two seamer in. Youkilis was playing in, and way over towards second in an attempt to put the Nonbeing Cabrera had created back in it's place- nowhere. But this time, Cabrera lined sharply to the new hole typically made nonexistent by the physical presence of the 1st baseman. And this hole, being a nonexistent thing, and as a result causally inefficacious, was unable to stop the liner from reaching the right field corner and knocking in both runners, which put Chicago up 3 to nothing.

Lester, who lost for the first time since May 25, didn't pitch badly, of course. But with holes, we're on the border of being and non-being, and it's a fine line indeed. Walking Swisher to lead off the 5th after getting ahead of him 0-2, and then a circle of Bay, Lowrie and Crisp letting a blooper fall in negative space, put one foot in the grave, and led to the Cabrera double.

Would that there been a hole in Sean Casey's bat, who as a pinch hitter up representing the tying run in the 9th, checked his swing on a 3-1 count, only to tap out weekly to a portion of space occupied by a physical object wearing a baseball mitt.

If you don't watch where your swing is going, you might fall into a... well.